Tuesday, April 8, 2014

"Conservative Christian" GOP Rep. Demonstrates How "Christian" He Is

These stories never get old:

Rep. Vance McAllister (R-LA) issued the statement a few hours after a local Louisiana newspaper, The Ouachita Citizen, published the video online. According to the Citizen, the video shows events that occurred Dec. 23 outside McAllister's district office in Monroe, La. The Citizen identified the woman in the video as McAllister’s district scheduler Melissa Peacock.

"There's no doubt I've fallen short and I'm asking for forgiveness," McAllister said in his statement. "I'm asking for forgiveness from God, my wife, my kids, my staff, and my constituents who elected me to serve. Trust is something I know has to be earned whether your a husband, a father, or a congressman. I promise to do everything I can to earn back the trust of everyone I've disappointed."

No doubt his marriage was jeopardized by the growing support for gay marriage.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Allen West: Welfare Slavery Is Worse Than Actual Slavery

Good news, people. Former congressman, and teabagger darling, Allen West has a book coming out soon! The fine folks at Glenn Beck's The Blaze, posted several excerpts from the book that are sure to make "liberal heads explode". Sounds fun!

There's ample hilarity within that article, but I wanted to focus on two quotes in particular:

“When Booker T. Washington talked about education, self-reliance and entrepreneurship, he was describing economic independence. But the Great Society has left a legacy of economic dependence, a new form of slavery, and to me, a far more dangerous one, because it destroys the will and determination to excel. As President Franklin Roosevelt said, welfare is “a subtle destroyer of the human spirit.” And that is what I see when I go back to the ol’ Fourth Ward and drive along Boulevard…

The Great Society has turned out to be a big lie, and sadly, those in my community who bought into it are stuck on the twenty-first-century plantation.”


“The Left and its black gatekeepers went absolutely apoplectic some months ago when I used the word enslavement. But you tell me a better description for what social welfare dependence breeds. To me it’s worse than physical enslavement, because it enslaves human spirit. It destroys the will and determination to seek improvement and a better life.”

Yes, Allen West is making the argument that the slavery resulting from government trying to provide you assistance is worse than actual slavery.  See, actual slavery might have been bad, sure enough, but at least slaves back then still retained a sense of self reliance and that CAN DO attitude!

Also, bonus points for invoking conservative icon, Franklin Roosevelt to lambast the idea of big government.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Eric Bolling Says Young People Should Forgo Insurance

Have I mentioned that Eric Bolling's a douche? Because he really is. This is the advice Bolling has to offer young people on the subject of Obamacare:

“Fiscally speaking, young people probably should take the penalty.”

Isn't it funny that conservatives are suddenly really receptive of the moocher lifestyle so shortly after railing against that demographic during the last election? That's right, kids. Don't have insurance? No problem! Just head on down to the local emergency room when you get sick and the hospital will simply bill everyone else. Nothing socialist about that!

Also, just to be clear, Bolling is explicitly endorsing the idea of breaking the law, which is perfectly justified for all cases that involve making conservatives sad.

GOP Rep's Hilarious Defense For Supporting Medicare Cuts He Himself Criticized

Rep. Bill Cassidy (R-La.) is trying to run for senate in Louisiana, and was recently at a town hall complaining about Obama "cutting" medicare:

Unfortunately, Cassidy makes the mistake of admitting that he himself voted for those very cuts he was railing against. When asked about it, this was the response from his communications director, John Cummins:

"The legislation was embryonic, whereas Obamacare passed and came into law," Cummins told HuffPost, in reference to the Ryan budget, which he called a "blueprint."
 There's an abortion joke in here somewhere. But more importantly, really? That's his defense? Sure, he voted for those very same cuts, but it's okay cause Paul Ryan's bill was never going to be enacted? Somehow I don't think that's the most persuasive argument.

Also, can I just point out how depressing it is that a party that's despised medicare since its inception over 50 years ago is now portraying itself as its ultimate defender, yet resulting with hardly any raised eyebrows? Yes, you have liberal blogs and such pointing this out, but we're always doing that. But I've never seen any mainstream, beltway reporters ever confronted any one of these clowns and asked "Wait, what happened to that whole socialized medicine being equivalent to genocide thing thing you were talking about last week?"

Seriously, can you imagine if Obama or any Democratic legislator tried to scare a room full of millionaires that the Republicans were planning on raising their taxes? Of course not! Democrats can be very frustrating, but at the very least they're not breathtakingly cynical. But hey, both sides, right?

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Shocking: Sarah Palin's Green Eggs and Ham Parody Was Ripped From Chain E-Mail

Today was the last day of CPAC, and the honor of being the final speaker for the convention was given to former half-term half-wit governor, Sarah Palin. Her speech was characterized by the usual touting of "conservative principles", and mangling of the English language, but there was definitely one noteworthy portion that I thought was amusing. The twittering twit of the tundra decided to invoke the Dr. Seuss classic, Green Eggs and Ham to attack Obama, the Democrats, and pretty much anyone that Palin didn't like:

I do not like this, Uncle Sam.
I do not like this healthcare scam.
I do not like these dirty crooks
Or how they lie and cook the books
I do not like when Congress steals
I do not like their crony deals
I do not like 'oh yes, we can'
I do not like this spending spree
We're smart, we know nothing's free
I do not like reporters' smug replies
When I complain about their lies
I do not like this kind of hope
And we won't take it
Nope, nope, nope!
Many have already pointed out the fact that Dr. Seuss probably wouldn't be too pleased with the idea of his work being used by an ultraconservative nitwit like Palin. But there's another reason I decided to highlight this. It turns out that as "clever" as this little limerick was, it wasn't even original! This was in fact, from a chain e-mail (which Palin modified around the edges) that's been floating around since as far back as 2010:

I do not like this Uncle Sam, I do not like his health care scam.
I do not like these dirty crooks, or how they lie and cook the books.
I do not like when Congress steals,
I do not like their secret deals.
I do not like this speaker, Nan ,
I do not like this ‘YES WE CAN’.
I do not like this spending spree,
I’m smart, I know that nothing’s free,
I do not like your smug replies, when I complain about your lies.
I do not like this kind of hope.
I do not like it. nope, nope, nope!
Of course, none of this should be surprising in the least when you think about it. After all, Republicans have relied on chain e-mails to formulate policies as far back as the early 90s.

Monday, February 24, 2014

Arizona Senator Rejects Common Core Standards Because Math Has Letters

I'd just like to preface this by reminding everyone that these are the kind of people who have a role in shaping what your children will be learning in school:

PHOENIX — Ignoring pleas from business leaders, the Senate Education Committee voted 6-3 along party lines Thursday to bar Arizona from implementing the Common Core standards the state adopted four years ago.

Sen. Al Melvin, R-Tucson, who championed SB 1310, said he believes the concept of some nationally recognized standards started out as a “pretty admirable pursuit by the private sector and governors.”

“It got hijacked by Washington, by the federal government,” said Melvin, a candidate for governor, and “as a conservative Reagan Republican I’m suspect about the U.S. Department of Education in general, but also any standards that are coming out of that department.”

Melvin’s comments led Sen. David Bradley, D-Tucson, to ask him whether he’s actually read the Common Core standards, which have been adopted by 45 states.
“I’ve been exposed to them,” Melvin responded.

Pressed by Bradley for specifics, Melvin said he understands “some of the reading material is borderline pornographic.” And he said the program uses “fuzzy math,” substituting letters for numbers in some examples.
First off, "borderline pornographic"? I'm legitimately curious to see the material he's reading. But it's the second comment that's pure gold. The man is 69 years old and you would think that in all that time living on Earth he would have discovered algebra at some point. But for whatever reason, he hasn't, and like most conservatives, probably assumes this, like evolution and other things taught in high school that he doesn't understand, is another liberal conspiracy. Mixing numbers and letters and messing with the natural order of things? Not if Sen. Al Melvin has anything to say about it!

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

In A Mere Four Years, Joe The Plunger Goes From Aspriring Job Creator To Union Thug

Per Greg Sargent:

A lot of folks are having fun with the news that “Joe the Plumber,” the Ohio man who famously tangled with Obama over his “spread the wealth” comment back in 2008, has now gotten himself a union job with Chrysler Group LLC. Ever since that encounter with Obama, Joe has enjoyed years of national recognition as the leading regular-guy critic of Obama’s penchant for seizing people’s hard earned money and giving it away to others.
 And it seems poor ole' Joe's having trouble making friends:

As the Toledo Blade reports, Joe the Plumber — a.k.a. Samuel Wurzelbacher — says he was required to join the United Auto Workers, now that he works for a union shop, and claims he’s been called a “Tea Bagger” by at least one pro-union co-worker. “I’m a Republican who was cast into the limelight for having the temerity to confront Barack Obama on the question of redistributing wealth,” Joe says. “But I’m a working man, and I’m working.”
 But arguably the best part is this:

The union angle is fun, but it’s worth noting another interesting and amusing irony to this tale. It appears plausible that Joe the Plumber may not have gotten this auto job if it weren’t for the hated bailout of the auto industry, which was first championed by George W. Bush and then became a leading symbol for years of Obama’s penchant for big-footed government intervention in the private market.

Sean McAlinden, who has studied the auto-bailout as the chief economist for the non-profit Center for Automotive Research, tells me it’s likely Joe’s new job is at one of two Chrysler plants currently operating in Toledo, Ohio, Joe’s home town. (I’ve emailed Joe asking for more info.)

“He wouldn’t have gotten a job in Toledo if Chrysler hadn’t been bailed out,” McAlinden tells me. “The unemployment rate in Toledo would have been at 15 percent.”
 Yes, Joe spent the past four years railing against Obama's job killing policies, only to wind up working at a place that wouldn't be around were it not for said job killing policies.

But as amusing as all this is, I have to say I'm honestly surprised Joe is in the position that he is. Remember, this guy was practically deified by the Right for his valiant defense of the rich as a non-rich person, against the Marxist would be tyrant. You would think the guy would be set for life via wingnut welfare. Either getting hired as a Fox News contributor, getting his own radio show, or going on book tours and speaking engagements, you would think he'd never have to worry about relying on conventional work ever again. It's gotta sting quite a bit to realize that Joe is a big enough loser that that he fails to meet even the Right Wing media apparatus' abyssmlaly low standards.

Friday, February 14, 2014

Eric Bolling Supports A Public Option?

Do these clowns understand what side they're even supposed to be on anymore?

Fox News host and conservative firebrand Eric Bolling proposed a health care alternative that bears striking resemblance to the public option, a government-issued insurance program that was originally considered as part of the health care reform law that was the target of his network.

On the February 11 edition of Fox's The Five, Bolling reacted to news that the Affordable Care Act's employer mandate was being delayed for some businesses by suggesting Republicans replace the ACA's mandate to purchase insurance with an optional government-issued alternative. Bolling said this plan would have the benefit of driving "all the prices down" in the health care market, and expressed puzzlement about "why the Republicans don't do this".
Are you fricken kidding me, Eric? The Republicans don't support a public option for insurance because people like you would tear them to shreds if they ever attempted such a thing.  Let us remind everyone that back during the HCR debate, the public option was removed from the final bill in the hopes of attracting Republican votes. As we all know by now, that didn't help whatsoever and the Republicans wound up voting against a vastly more conservative plan, so why in the hell would they now support something to the left of Obamacare?

Michele Bachmann: Pray The Obamacare Away

Yeah, good luck with that:

That's why you saw the House of Representatives pass my bill, the full repeal of Obamacare last week, and that's why I have renewed confidence that we can see this bill pass in the Senate and I think the President will ultimately be forced to repudiate his own signature piece of legislation because the American people will demand it.

And I think before his second term is over, we're going to see a miracle before our eyes, I believe God is going to answer our prayers and we'll be freed from the yoke of Obamacare. I believe that's going to happen and we saw step one last week with the repeal of Obamacare in the House. We have two more steps. We serve a mighty God and I believe it can happen.

I just have to ask: How is this supposed to work exactly? If prayer worked towards stopping Obamacare, wouldn't it never have been passed to begin with? And how does this explain the 2012 election? Does that mean God supports Obamacare? Or that it was God's punishment for the American people being insufficiently Christian?  Maybe the people who prayed for Obamacare to remain cancelled out the people who prayed for it to be repealed?

All that aside, this is one idea from the Righties I can totally support. I'm sure everyone would agree that things would be better if Bachmann and her ilk spent more of their time praying and less time trying to enact actual policy effecting people's lives.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Wall Street Journal Columnist Suggests Lowering Minimum Wage To $5/hr.

The Wall Street Journal opinion section churns out another winning article. Some clod by the name of Robert G. Strayton came up with a genius idea to help the filthy poors: lower the minimum wage to $5/hr. Let's hear Rob's pitch:

As a volunteer interviewer of the poor at a religious charitable organization in southwest Florida, I have come to believe that the most effective step we can take to ameliorate poverty, kick-start job growth and invigorate hope in every social stratum is to experiment with a $5 minimum wage. 

A $5 wage will put money and hope into the lives of our poor in immediate, powerful and enduring ways. For all its $4 trillion stimulus, mere nickels of quantitative-easing funding "trickled down" to where the poor reside. But a $5 minimum wage will "trickle up," directly from employer to employed—creating millions of jobs rapidly and putting them within reach of huge numbers of the poor. 
Three things. 1)What the hell is a "volunteer interviewer for the poor"? 2) This is an unbelievably stupid idea. 3) How in the name of Jay Gould does lowering the minimum wage "trickle up directrly from employer to employed"? You're giving the employer the ability to pay workers less, so wouldn't this in fact, trickle down (you know, like every single right-wing policy since the 1980s)?

How would such a program operate? At the government level, with as little red-tape as possible, although government must protect current workers by guaranteeing they will not be subject to any wage lower than the one they now earn.
At the employer level, hiring $5-per-hour personnel must be balanced against the risk inherent in the often-inexperienced people such a wage attracts. As an incentive, the IRS can allow a 50% tax deduction on all wages paid at the $5 level during a test period. Facing workforce mobility issues (prospective employees without cars, bikes or gas money), employers can offer transportation, water, food and necessary material services for which they may also claim tax deductions. As for the workers, they will receive gross-equals-net fully spendable pay at the end of each work period. 

 Not sure how in Hades the bolded is supposed to work. Presumably employers could just fire their current workers who make minimum wage and hire new workers at the new minimum wage.

 The best part of this piece however, is the following:

You'd think no one can value making $5 an hour. But for those in poverty, a primal need is immediate and reliable access to an income of one's own. When one has nothing, anything becomes priceless. Watch the expression on the face of a poor person when you provide him or her with $2, $3 or $5 to put gas in a neighbor's borrowed car so he can bring free groceries, clothing, linens, housewares or furnishings from our organization back home. You'll see then the value of such a "trivial" wage.

Here you have someone who, in all likelihood, is well off financially, who will most likely never be in a position that would cause him to struggle to make rent or pay for his next meal, making the argument that paying people less than what they could be making right now, is not a heinous and manipulative act, but in fact, an altruistic one! People like Strayton have convinced themselves that they in fact, are the true protectors of the poor.

To all conservative media, more articles like this, please.