Thursday, November 15, 2012

Breaking: Idiot Fox Hosts Don't Know What The Hell They're Talking About

So there was a particularly wretched segment on the televised clown car sketch that is The Five earlier today. The topic was about the disturbing movement among a number of tea bagging idiots around the country who have signaled their desire to secede from the U.S.

The hosts wasted no time in making moronic statements. After making the eight millionth "57 States" joke in the episode, "comedian" Greg Gutfield (surprisingly) disapproved of the idea of secession supported by his fellow mouth breathers, while simultaneously sympathizing with the sentiment. However, he did go on to offer a challenge to see once and for all whether blue states, with their freedom hatin' and forced gay marriages would manage to stand up to the the free market utopias that consists of REAL 'Merica..

Yes, Greg. Let's have that competition. I'm more than willing and I'm sure most other blue staters would be as well.

After he listed off a slew of inane strawmen vices and virtues describing the differences between the different states (and after noted other douchebag Eric Bolling made a birth certificate "joke"), the femservatives (whose names escape me and of which I have no curiosity to check) on the panel mentioned how Real 'Merica is gonna get right angry at having to support the commie, freeloader blue states and may have to go Galt. Bob Beckel, the panel's token democrat/freedom hater, politely pointed out that it was in fact, the other way around, that blue states were the ones doing the supporting. And shockingly enough, Eric Bolling of all people agreed with Beckel.

Now let's bring out some unpleasant information (which we commies like to call "facts"). Here's a list of the top welfare queen states (defined as any state that receives more money from the government than it pays in taxes):

Of the twenty worst states, 16 are either Republican dominated or conservative states. Let's go through the top twenty.
  • New Mexico: $2.03
  • Mississippi: $2.02
  • Alaska: $1.84
  • Louisiana: $1.78
  • West Virginia: $1.76
  • North Dakota: $1.68
  • Alabama: $1.66
  • South Dakota: $1.53
  • Kentucky: $1.51
  • Virginia: $1.51
  • Montana: $1.47
  • Hawaii: $1.44
  • Maine: $1.41
  • Arkansas: $1.41
  • Oklahoma: $1.36
  • South Carolina: $1.35
  • Missouri: $1.32
  • Maryland: $1.30
  • Tennessee: $1.27
  • Idaho: $1.21
Notice anything interesting in there? Nearly all those states sucking on the federal teat are red states. And how do the laboratories of socialism fare?

Where can we find liberal bastions California, New York, and Massachusetts? California is 43rd, getting back only $0.78 for every dollar it sends to Washington. New York is 42nd, and one penny better off, at $0.79 per dollar. Massachusetts is 40th, receiving $0.82 for every dollar it sends to DC.
Well, would you look at that! Seems bootstrappin's infinitely easier when someone else is doing it for you. Who woulda thunk?

One of the femservatives in that clip tried to argue that red states are richer than blue states because red states tend to have balanced budgets. This is like saying that the guy who owns the porno shop across the street from me, who happens to be breaking even is therefore richer than a company like Sony because they posted an annual loss of $5.7 billion this year.

Sorry dipshits. But blue states tend to have things that are both attractive to the general population and yes, even businesses too. Things like infrastructure, investments in education, as well as large labor pools. These are among the reasons why rich people, even those that tend to be ultra right wingers, tend to live in blue states.

Seriously, think about it. You always hear foreigners mentioning how they're dying to see Los Angeles, or New York. But how many say (or have ever said) they're totally stoked to tour the world's most impressive dirt farm residing in Grainger, Tennessee? Not many, I'd figure. For the same reason you don't see too many people wanting to take a vacation in Somalia or Sierra Leone.

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