Friday, November 16, 2012

John McCain Was Unable to Attend Funeral For Fallen Benghazi Victims Because He Was Too Busy Grieving For Their Deaths

(Washington D.C.)  Republican Senator John McCain found himself in a somewhat awkward situation earlier today when he was asked to explain why he didn't attend the funerals for the victims in the Benghazi tragedy.

"I wanted to attend. I really did. However, I was just too overwhelmed with grief and anguish for these true American heroes." said Mccain, before bursting into tears.

The 76 year old lawmaker, who appeared in seventeen different interviews from just this morning, was already under fire from many senate democrats for allegedly demagoguing the Benghazi attacks, while also skipping out on a classified, closed door Senate Homeland Security briefing on Benghazi.

The senator however, brushed off criticisms from his colleagues. "The sheer thought that I'm attempting to use this tragic turn of events for either my own political gain or just simply for my own selfish sense of amusement is insulting!"

Asked if he would be visiting the graves of the deceased ambassador and his officers, McCain said he would try his best to free up his schedule to make the trip, but insisted that it appearing on every cable news show on T.V. to attack President Obama and U.N. Ambassador Susan Rice, was the best way to honor their memories.

"It's what they would have wanted." the senator stated as he wiped away his tears and took several gulps from a bottle of Jack Daniel's.

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