Monday, September 16, 2013

Yes, Thanks To Michelle Obama, Conservatives Have Now Become Anti-WATER

If nothing else, you should give these people credit for constantly exceeding expectations:

Last night, Bill Maher made a joke that may have just become reality. During a discussion about the GOP’stendency to “blacktrack” (Maher’s term) on long-held positions just because President Obama happens to agree with them, the host suggested that the White House may be testing Republicans with First LadyMichelle Obama’s new public health campaign.
“I saw in the news that Michelle Obama has a new program,” Maher said. “You know she tried to get kids to eat better and Republicans were against that. And now she wants people to hydrate more, I’m not kidding, she says ‘Drink more water.’ I think this is a test to see if the Republicans will come out against water. That’s not water, that’s socialism juice!”

The riff got a huge laugh for Maher’s liberal audience, and also from his one conservative guest, former RNC chairman Michael Steele. The idea that anyone could criticize Michelle Obama for promoting hydration is preposterous, right? Well…


Some conservatives have been quick to jump on Michelle Obama for her “scientific” claims, pointing to a POLITICO story that quotes experts who claim there are discernible benefits from drinking one extra glass of water a day. Rush Limbaugh called it “just more command-and-control” from the Obama White House. The Washington Times went after the “the nation’s most prominent anti-obesity crusader” for misleading the public. And the Washington Free Beacon blasted the headline, “Michelle Obama’s Drink More Water Campaign Based on Faulty Science.”

The only thing I'll add here is that I hope the First Lady also happens to have a pro-breathing initiative in the works.


Okay, I've been getting a lot of responses from conservatives saying that I'm stupid because Rush and his ilk aren't literally telling other conservatives not to drink water. Rather, they're simply complaining that this is yet another instance of the Obamas' dictatorial overreach (note to everyone following along: this is supposed to be their defense).

First off, all you right-wingers can settle down. No one ever claimed that El Rushbo said that he was going to boycott all forms of H2O from now on (the title was intentionally exaggerated, even if was, ever so slightly). Hell, if Rush ever did claim such a thing, there wouldn't be nearly as short a blog post as there was. Instead it'd be plastered with celebratory gifs of Barack and Michelle laughing all over.

No, kiddies. The point about the whole "anti-water" thing was that we had yet another instance where the First Lady attempts to offer an utterly innocuous suggestion (in this case: drink more water) which once again resulted in you idiots collectively losing your shit.

Did I mention that this was a suggestion? Not a bill being contemplated by congress. Not an executive order that Obama secretly signed while everyone was busy watching the most recent episode of Honey Boo Boo. Not anything that would be enforceable in any way. Just a fucking SUGGESTION.

But no, even something like that is a step too far, and results in "MY FREEDUMZ" being infringed upon.

And that kids, was the original point of this post. So you guys can take solace in the fact that the actual complaint from Limbaugh and his minions was only slightly less idiotic than the misinterpreted one that you guys picked up.


  1. "I can't stand it. I just can't stand it..." - Charlie Brown

  2. Well seems like republicans and right-wing has lost its grasb on reality a long time ago. I wonder if there's anyone with IQ over 100 in that camp?

  3. A far greater and deeper American political thinker than either Michelle Obama or Bill Maher (not difficult, I agree), once provided an excellent reason to treat water with caution:

    "I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it!"

    W. C. Fields

    He gets my vote, er, if I had one 'over there'!

  4. It's one thing to make an innocuous suggestion, quite another to make it official policy and use the power of government to coerce.

    That is the point you seem to be missing.

    1. Wow, did you feel coerced?

    2. Yea, because that's EXACTLY what is going on...moron.

    3. Time to put your tinfoil hat on.

  5. ... as a conservative... to all the idiots, including Rush Limbaugh, shut the fuck up. If he starts trying to legislate water intake then maybe you can have a cry but it's far from odd for someone in office or their spouse to tout good health etc.

  6. The intent of this article is purely to drive a wedge between two different factions in our society. Pure partisan nonsense. Why is the media trying so hard to make us all hate each other? Coming from the "right," let me just say, "f---... screw rush limbaugh." But also, screw the yellow journalist who wrote this piece of trash. #Stop inciting hate

    1. this response makes me want to hate...