The life of an ever-vigilant anti-government armed patriot is hard. And by hard, I mean dull and unproductive. Also, not very profitable. Maybe that's why all those guys hanging out cleaning their guns in Nevada are now begging hard-working Americans to please give them some money.One enterprising ranch defender needs funds so badly, he's taken to GoFundMe:To all American Patriots:I am the Team Leader that took Charlie Delta, the black marine, out to Nevada along with two other volunteers that all did an outstanding job at the Bundy Ranch. I understand most of you have come to know Charlie Delta through his expressed views on Cliven Bundy and the good we are all doing as patriots at the ranch. I am coming to you tonight humbly asking for your help. We may be the front line soldiers facing down an overbearing govt bureaucracy, but we are first off family men and women that have our own homes and jobs and families left behind to take on this endeavor. Therefore we have spent our fortunes for freedom and love of our fellow man and need your help to continue our efforts to keep all Americans free from tyranny. Please if you can spare even a few dollars for food, fuel and supplies to continue the stand against tyranny and an overbearing governtment [sic] please help. Even the smallext [sic] amount will help keep up the pressure to return this land to the people. I thank you all sincerely for your contribution.Christopher E FerrellUnited we stand! Divided we fall!
So basically, you have a group of people who presumably hate the idea of people mooching off the government, attempting to mooch off other people so that they could continue their crusade to help some guy continue mooching off the government. Sounds about right.
Ah, but wait! Conservatives will claim that what these wonderful patriots are doing doesn't count as begging for welfare because said patriots are begging for help from the private sector and not relying on the evil, oppressive government.
This might sound like a reasonable defense if it wasn't for the fact that conservatives disapprove of the idea of begging in general. Does anyone think that the Right would have any non-negative feelings towards say, a minority panhandling on some street corner? I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that they wouldn't be too fond of such a person, even if they were receiving money from willing donors. I would further assume that said panhandler would be criticized for having weak moral fiber and instead of begging for assistance, would be encouraged to just starve to death (Thessalonians 3:10: “For even when we were with you, we gave you this command: Anyone unwilling to work should not eat.”) as written in the holy texts by the Prophet Reagan (PBUH).
Of course, this sort of criticism only applies to us mooching mortals. For you see, Republicans are God's chosen people, and they are entitled to any form of aid, either by the private or public sector, and thus it is impossible for them to be considered hypocrites (This is known as the IOIYAR Doctrine, if you want to get all technical).
Nice try, liberals.
UPDATE: Hahaha, looks like these idiots are capable of feeling shame after all. Seems Ferrell took down his GoFundMe page.
UPDATE 2: He seems to have another fundraising page still up for some reason. This one seems to be doing even worse than the other one (click to enlarge) ...