He was doing pretty good so far, but then he makes the mistake of continuing to speak:
Well, you know, I've not changed my tune to any great extent. I think I've become more conservative as I've gotten older, as I've had a family. As people do when they get older and they get older and have a family and pay taxes. You start looking for school systems for their kids that are usable and things like that. There's a move toward a more conservative life in general as you get older. It goes -- many of the principles sort of bode with frankly getting older, having a family, focusing on your children and your family and things like that.
But as far as my talking points go, you know, stop shitting out kids you can't afford. You pay for their school breakfast, not because I want you to pay for their school breakfast but because the kid should know that mom and/or dad are paying for breakfast, making the effort. It's a psychological thing, it's not a matter of I don't want to pay 39 cents a day for your kid. I don't give a fuck about that. The fucking government takes half of money and does whatever the fuck it wants with it anyway. I mean, your kid's breakfast is the least of my worries. I worry about your kid and the message that is being sent to your kid by momma not making a breakfast. That's what I a worry about.
Well, now. Isn't that compassionate of him? He cares so much for the kiddies, you see. It's oddly similar to the rationale provided by Republican boy genius, Paul Ryan, a few months back for why we should completely destroy the idea of government funded school lunches. The possibility that many of these parents can't provide lunches as opposed to not wanting to make them for their kids doesn't seem to ever come up in these conversations for some reason.
Carolla speaks from experience though. His family lived off welfare growing up and he himself received government subsidized school lunches:
The lesson seems to be pretty clear. Parents should buy/make their kids their own lunch, otherwise they may grow up to be bitter, right-wing douchebags some day.
What was also amusing was how Carolla was whining about how the word "conservative" is seen as a negative nowadays:
It’s bizarre and that’s what we have turned it into. But also, it’s the left turning conservatism into a pejorative, number one. Being conservative didn’t used to be a pejorative in any stretch of the imagination. Being a conservative with your money was being prudent. Being conservative as it pertains to work or investments or even at the poker table it was sort of prudent. Conservative meant prudent; it was not a pejorative.
The left has taken over the word conservative and turned it into a pejorative. So it’s like, “Oh, you’re a conservative?” They’ve done a wonderful smear campaign.
“Oh, are you a conservative?” “Yes, I’m a conservative.” “Oh, great. You hate women. You hate blacks. You hate all cultures. You love people’s money. You hate poor people.”
“No, no. I just want to focus on education. I want to focus on hard work. I want to focus on being motivated and getting ahead in a country that made for that ethic…”
Now, it’s weird that I can be conservative and never talk about religion. Because conservatives are a bunch of Bible-thumping, you know, brainwashed, you know, they believe the earth is 1,000 years old. How come I’m not religious? I’m an atheist. See, they just pick and choose whatever they want.
Sorry, Adam. You guys are doing a great job ruining that word on your own. You definitely don't need any help from liberals on that front.